Wow.

That’s all I can say.

Why?

Because today was a BLUR!

“Today” started for me about seventeen hours ago, yes youheard me, SEVENTEEN hours!  I woke up at5:00 this morning because our dog Zhaxci decided he was lonely and that it wasa great time to bug Megan.  He wouldn’tleave me alone so I decided to just get up and take my shower (wasn’t gettingany sleeping done anyway).  After I wasshowered and dressed it was a little after 6:00 and my stomach told me I washungry.  You know, sometimes I am verygrateful for my stomach because otherwise I would not think to stop and eat; I’mjust too busy ALL OF THE TIME!  So, I atebreakfast and by that then it was time for me to start my morning battle withtraffic… I arrived on campus at 8:05, promptly when I had meant to.

Before my reflection with Sister Mary I went and printed myguided reflection questions off in Financial Aid where I struck up a conversationwith Mary Beth Lampe about how close the end of the semester was and howexcited I was.  Then I made my way backto the classroom and sat down with my peers as we waited for Sister Mary tostart the session.  By 9:40 (an entire 40minutes before our allotted time was up, but a good 45 minutes after my brainhad already traveled to my next exam) we were all finished reflecting on ourservice learning placements and I was headed to the food court to CRAM!

From 9:45 to 1:00 my friend and I studied our little heartsout trying to prepare for what was sure to be our demise in Dr. Green’s 1:15exam.  The time passed too quickly and asthe clocked turned to 1:00 we both felt those all-too-familiar pretest jitterssetting in.  We walked together incomplete silence to the education floor of the classroom building and sat downat our seats to join the rest of our classmates in last minutes glancing atnotes and prayers to St. Anthony that we would find the right answers.  The exam went by without flaw, and I actuallythink I did very well!  By 2:30 (a full35 minutes before the allotted time was up) Lori and I were back in the foodcourt, joined by two other friends, to look over our notes for our Math exam at5:30.  We studied, gossiped, talked abouthow ready to be done we all were, ate dinner and then went to the math floor ofthe science building to take our tests.

The math test was very simple and I was the first of ourstudy group to finish.  We had all agreedto wait until we were all finished and then go out to UDF to get ice cream…. SoI waited.  When everyone was done wepicked Chris up and headed out.  We weregoing to celebrate the sweet taste of FREEDOM with the sweet taste of icecream!  We all had a great time, everyonebut Chris was done with exams, and everyone but me was done with final projects(I just have a few loose ends to tie up) but we were ALL basically DONE andproud of it too!!

I drove home feeling great, dropped my stuff at my bedroomdoor and took a hot shower to wash the dirt, grime and slime of finals, exams,and cram sessions off of me and now here I sit…

I just took you through seventeen hours in 600 words… andthat’s how my day went by too, it went by fast and man am I thankful that itdid!  I hope everyone has a great summer…good luck to EVERYONE on any exams you may have left and I’ll see you aroundsometime!!

Adios, S209!

It's the end of the semester... :( We're studying for exams, turning in last minute projects, and packing up the dorm rooms. I've gotten to the point that I have only three more exams and I've just taught my last lesson at Oakdale. I have now turned to my dorm room. I cannot tell you how much I am a pack rat and how many things end up in places that I didn't know existed.

I had literally every wall covered with posters, pictures, and other things just EVERYWHERE! I have to take it all down too. :( I've managed to fill three boxes with pictures, books, knick knacks, pillows, blankets, and other stuff. I have, left, to pack the essential things, my bedding, bath and kitchen stuff, trash cans, clothes, the couch, foot stools, shelving units, and my fridge. It's quite a lot to move and I'm not thrilled about it. And the fact that we're moving is a problem too. What do I do with it all? Normally I would put it all in the attic and just leave it there for the summer but now that Mom is trashing the attic and putting everything AND anything in boxes, I have to put the boxes in my room and just let it all sit in the corner. It's a sad fate for the boxes and the state of my room will be horrible soon. It will have at least 6 boxes, all three of my suitcases, and tons of shelving just sitting around waiting to be moved to a new home. And me with it.

But it's interesting how things just come to an end and we can't stop it. Today is the third day of May of the year two thousand and ten and I cannot believe how quickly the time has passed! I sound like a broken record with that but I can't help it! I didn't realize how quickly time has passed! This time last year I was preparing to go to London and spend 7 weeks in foreign countries! And I'm currently reading the Gemma Doyle series by Libba Bray and in it they are in London and they're mentioning places that I know! And I only know them because I spent all that time there discovering new places in a new city in a new country. And now I've already spent my time there and I wish so desperately to go back... It's just amazing that this year I'm moving to a new home and how easily time just flies by and I don't even realize it...

Graduation is even this Saturday. I'm not graduating until May of next year but under my classification in my academic records, I'm listed as a senior because I've taken so many credits. That makes me feel so old! I cannot believe that my time in college is almost over... :( I love school and I know I'm not ready to leave it yet... Maybe that's why I'm becoming a teacher. ^-^ I even have my three month anniversary with my boyfriend this Saturday, that is how much time has flown by. I can't believe it... I also have to say goodbye to my friends who are graduating and make plans with my other friends to do things over the summer, plan things for next school year, and just generally make sure we stay in touch while we all go our separate ways for three months. I am honestly ready to do nothing for a while but I know I will regret that after only a few weeks into summer. I manage to get myself in a vicious cycle where I can't wait for school to be over, have fun with no school for a while, wish I was back in school, then dread the end of summer, happy to be back at school, then hate to be back at school, and wait until the next break. It's a cycle that is never ending and oddly very comforting to know that I know what my life will be like. And yet, I don't want to know. I don't know... :(

But I know one of the last things to come down in my dorm will be my star lights hanging in my window. They are on a timer and are on from 6 PM until about 6 AM. They are a comfort and joy to me and I love my stars. They will be the last thing to be remembered from my junior year of college... I cannot wait for the next part of my life to begin and yet I don't want to leave the comfort of what I already know behind...

“However gifted an individual is at the outset, ifhis or her talents cannot be developed because of his or her social condition,because of the surrounding circumstances, these talents will be still-born” –Simone de Beauvoir

Why is it that we have gifted children, children that are extremelybright and very intelligent, children that are identified as so, sitting in ourgeneral classroom across the country bored to tears?  Why is it that my gifted nephew is in the office almostevery day at school for behavioral problems that no one in the family has everseen signs of in his 10 years on this planet? Why is it that we have our advanced learners failing out of high schoolor dropping out to go to the streets or to work?  Well I think it boils down to a lack ofaction and a lack of funding.

It is our job as future educators to know our students, and not just thepercentage of our students that are considered “normal,” I mean, after all…what is normal?  A teacher should take iton as her personal responsibility to try to reach the children in her classroomin some special way, to show them that she cares about them as more than a student– as a unique person.  Before going intothe research for my research paper for Mr. Santoro I had mixed feeling about gifted programs.  I myself am a product of a gifted program atthe middle school level and growing up I always thought it was unfair to belabeled as gifted because in my school it brought with it unfair stereotypicaljudgments.  If I went to my BYWAYS classeveryone else thought that I was getting special treatment that was allowing meto get off easy, but if I stayed in the general classroom I would be so boredthat I would just drift away and get in trouble for not paying attention.

It seems to me that there should be a way to give our gifted learnersmore support in this great country.  People wonder why there are no programs out there – well, it’s because there’s nomoney out there to run those programs and they don’t exactly pay for themselves now do they? When I researched the regulations regarding gifted education and found thatthere were NONE at the federal level I was in shock.  How can we leave these students without support,to go on their own separate ways and figure out how to adjust to their specialneeds the way I had to learn to do in high school and now in college?  To me, we are doing these children aninjustice by not helping them and to be completely honest, they aren’t blind…they know that their disabled counterparts have all kinds of money available tothem and that they themselves basically have none.  I’m in no way saying that funding shouldbe taken away from students with learning disabilities and handicaps, but these children needit too.

I have learned so much valuable information over the course of writingthis paper, it has made the whole course worthwhile to me.  I am a firm believer in thefact that you cannot possible know where you are going until you know where youhave come from.  I would not be nearly asprepared to facilitate lessons to fit the learning styles of the giftedchildren that may be in my future classrooms had I not written this paper.  Learning about the characteristics of giftedchildren and exploring the various strategies to use in the classroom with themoffered me a perspective on giftedness I had never been exposed to before.  I always looked at gifted and talentededucation as a gifted student, but this paper gave me a lens through which tolook at this exceptionality as an educator. Gifted education has come a long way from Plato’s Academy, but there arestill many steps that need to be made towards getting it to be where it needsto be to efficiently serve the leaders of tomorrow.

This image is from  http://www.nagc.org/index2.aspx?id=3134

Megan, New Jersey, 14 

As yet another semester comes to a close, it is time to reflect on all those things that have changed over the past 15 weeks, well, actually 14 weeks as we do have 1 more week and exams yet.

This semester, I have gotten to delve more deeply into my major, Special Education, with my 5 classes: methods of math, curriculum and methods of spec. ed., diagnosis and remediation in reading, geometry, and classroom management. I have found something useful in each class, I think. Methods of math has shown me that when teaching little kids about math, we shouldn't assume everything we spell out clearly actually makes sense. Such as, if we show 2 apples plus 2 apples equals 4 apples and we ask how many apples are there, then we shouldn't be surprised if they say 8 because there is actually 8 apples on the diagram even though we're only wanting the number on the other side of the equal sign. In my curriculum and methods of spec. ed. class, I have learned to make an Individualized Education Plan (IEP), write an Evaluation Team Report (ETR), and modify assignments for a student with special needs. In my diagnosis and remediation in reading class, my teacher has shown us that we can give free and very useful reading diagnostics to evaluate the reading abilities of students who may need help. In geometry, I haven't learned anything I haven't already learned, but it was a helpful refresher course when I did get into my practicum for 4th graders. And in classroom management, I have learned different models that are helpful in discipline and structuring a classroom to promote learning, motivation, encouragement, and fun. Not every class I've taken has given me as much but this semester seems to have been a good one. I look forward to one more semester of classes before I student teach in the spring next year. That's scary...! :O

I also participated in the March for Life in Washington DC back in January, saw Jeff Dunham for the first time with my friend Nicole, created a board game that was only worth 10 points but looks like I bought it :D, saw the Polar Bear Plunge for the first time, got involved in a practicum with special needs students, saw the Saints win their first ever Super Bowl, was almost in a heads on collision, had a series of snow days and several feet of snow over the semester, witnessed an awesome winters Olympics, had my first ever real Valentine's Day, my grandpa broke his hip and is still recovering, saw Ringley Brothers and Barnum and Bailey's Circus, sold my house, bought a new house, went to Spring Formal with my boyfriend, participated in the "Bye, Bye Birdie" musical, and had too much fun at Spring Fest. It has been an action packed semester and I have enjoyed almost every minute of it!

With only one week to go, I have only two projects to finish and one paper to edit but I do have three lessons to teach for my practicum. How nerve-wrecking is that!? Then I also have three sit down exams- ewww- and one take home. That'll be fun- not. Then it's out for the summer! My parents just sold our house and bought a new one- all within a week so now we have to pack everything up and take it to the new place. Fortunately for me, most, if not all, of my stuff is in the dorms so I just have to move my stuff from school to, hopefully, the new place in two weeks, but I don't know how well that'll work out. All in all, it's a new adventure I'm looking forward to even though I'm not that excited about doing it right now. :(

With all this going on, I am swamped with things to do and finish but I am having fun taking all my learned knowledge and putting it to good use. I am excited to start some new chapters in my life and I can't wait to start! :)

I’m still doing a pretty decent job of keeping my head heldhigh guys…  I started working at 10:030this morning and I’m just calling it quits for the night right now at 8:00.

Being at home for the weekend is kind of paradoxical.  Why? Well, because it is normally very difficult for me to get any work donewhen I am at home because of my other obligations and responsibilities to mygrandparents.  But this weekend Shanecame over.  Shane is my boyfriend, and unlikepopular belief it is much, much easier for me to get work done when he isaround.  He keeps me going when all Iwant to do is quit, pushing me gently and telling me to keep my eye on thegoal.  When anyone needs somethingupstairs he’s there before I can even think about responding to the call.  When I’m hungry he’ll go get something forme, which is extremely helpful because that means I don’t have to move from mycomputer at all.  It’s just much easierto stay on task when he is here.

My to-do list still seems overwhelmingly large, but there’sonly one way to eat an elephant properly I guess… one bite at a time.  That’s what I’m doing here, I chipping offtiny pieces one slice at a time and slowly but surely I’m getting there.  Today I finished things up for Dr. Miller, sonow I’m caught up in my Reading class.  Ihave cleared away all of the little things I had left in Art so now I can focusmy attention on her final.  Tomorrowmorning, first thing, I plan to finish my praxis summaries and my chapterreviews for Mr. Santoro so the only thing I will have left for his class is hisfinal research paper.  I think I willstart to feel a LOT better about things after Tuesday next week because I makeup my midterm for Dr. Green and my test for Mrs. Smith Tuesday afternoon andthat will take a lot of weight off of my shoulders.  I just need to keep my head up and my eyes onthe prize… 

Once again I find myself on campus before my friends have eventhought of getting out of their warm beds...

I came early this morning to see if I could catch Dr. Millerbefore her 9:00 class so that I could talk to her about possibly getting andalternate individual assignment to take the place of the group assignment we'vebeen working on because I haven't been able to work with my group lately. I emailed a group member earlier this week, but she did not email meback, so I have no idea where we are with our project is at the moment. Well, it turns out that Dr. Miller not only has a 9:00 class and a 10:00class, but she also has an 8:00 class... so I hope I can catch her in betweenone of three classes.

I have parked myself in the lobby (once again) and I'm enjoyingthe quiet peace of a campus that is waking up around me.  It looks to meas if three papers are being written, a science test is being studied for andFacebook is making money.  Yep, other than professors arriving for theirclasses on this Friday morning, that's pretty much all that's going on. What do I plan to do??  Well, while I wait for Dr. Miller I plan ongetting some work done.  I need to print out my application for summeremployment here at the Mount, I need to do my WebCT reflections for my servicelearning in Santoro's class, I need to organize my thoughts and research for myresearch paper on gifted education, I need to brainstorm an idea for my unitplan for AED and I need to finish my Praxis Summaries for chapters 14, 15 and16 in SED.  Oh boy!

I'll keep pushing until it's all done, I've been through worse, I can do this, but not just by telling myself I can do it... I'm going to have to talk the talk AND walk the walk in order for anything to happen!  Wish me luck... 

Today was the day that I made that ever so important decision to put my words from my last entry into action... 

I started bright and early.  Mr. Santoro's 8:15 class was canceled this morning and while everyone else was enjoying their free class period sleeping in I was on campus already.  I decided that if I set my alarm for 5:30 and got up and stayed home that it would be no time before I was sound asleep again and I didn't want that to happen.  I had things that needed to get done and I wasn't about to let that time that I was already used to being up for anyway just slip by.  So I got up at 5:30 and was out the door but 6:00 with a packed lunch and a full cup of coffee.

When I got to campus I was one of a handful of students just arriving and I got a really good parking spot (always a plus on a long day!).  I found the empty classroom where I would normally be sitting with my peers learning about the world of exceptionalities that will greet our every waking moment as teachers in the career field.  I picked a spot by the window where the cool morning breeze would keep my mind awake and my senses alert and I pulled out my worn copy of Left Back: A Century of Battles Over School Reform by Diane Ravitch and began to carefully read and analyze the 12-page section that Dr. Green had assigned to us for the quiz we would be having in class.  It was nothing overly interesting, mostly just how radical progressive educators had gotten after the Great Depression and how many extremeist ideas there were out there about the role schools should play in society... it's worth a look if you like that kind of stuff.  I went through it once, nit picking and highlighting/underlining every important detail and then I went back and read straight through it one more time for fluidity and comprehension.  

At that point I was really getting sleepy.  I have been very sick since Monday afternoon when I came home from work with a temperature of 103 (not fun).  Anyway, I decided I needed to move, so I made my way to the lobby where I watched my fellow students all around me.  Some I knew, some I didn't; some conversations I recognized (senior thesis projects, a shake up in CAB and the very quiz I had just prepared for were among them) and some just failed to catch my attention.  I sat there for probably 10-15minutes thinking over what I had just read to myself so I could keep it fresh in my mind.  Then it was time for class so I made my way up to the 2nd floor of the classroom building and sat down in the front row of the stifling atmosphere of CL 206 and waited for the customary rhetoric of Dr. Green to announce his arrival.

"I think I may have actually gotten a 10 out of 10 on that one," I said to Chris as we headed down to the Excel department. "And you know what? I think I actually understood what he was talking about today, it didn't seem like a bunch of mumbo jumbo jibberish..." my voice trailed off as I saw the look on Chris's face (which meant that he did not feel the same way), so I decided to drop the subject for the more favorable one of what was on special at the food court today (it was buffalo chicken wraps).  After I dropped my notes off at Excel I stopped by to see Betheny and missed her, and then we headed down to the food court.  While I ate I tied up some loose ends with emails that I had out to some professors and some applications and the sort that I had unfinished floating around my desktop.  After that I put pen to paper and made out a to-do list for the rest of the semester, and let me tell YOU it's a DOOZY!  It hurts me to look at it, but at the same time it feels good to know exactly what has to be done.

Art class went smoothly, my group was understanding of my absences and Mrs. Dick cut me some slack on her grading policy, she thinks if I can continue my 'A' line of work from the beginning of the semester (before all hell broke loose) though to the end of the semester and do really well on my final that I can pull through with a 'B', but no higher than that... ugh, I wish there was something I could do about the classes I had to miss... anyway... her final will require a lot of time and effort, but to be completely honest I think I will have fun with it.  Before I left campus for work I added her final and my responsibilities for our group project to my list of things to do.... looks like thing will be getting hairy this weekend. 

Work went nicely, I hadn't seen the kids in awhile because I've been sick and Ariyanna was glad to have her Mancala partner back.  Alexus is on crutches and Aaron lost a tooth... they are so great, I love it when I go to the after school program after being on campus so long on Thursdays because they're so lively and refreshing... they just make my day!  The Howards were picked up right at 5:00 leaving Issa as the only one left.  His mother showed up at 5:15 and Ms. Dorris and I were free to go.  I-471 was shut down so I had to come home Columbia Parkway which was backed up all the way back to the city and it took me the better part of and hour to get home instead of the usual half hour.  I ate dinner and then my medicine knocked me out so I slept until 9:30 and now here we are.

Why is any of this important enough to me to be in my blog at all?  Well because just yesterday I didn't want to do anything, everyday "staples" were a big feat for me and everything I did, no matter how simple, required a great deal of effort.  But I reached that breaking point and I decided to keep pushing through no matter how hard things got.  So today "carpe diem" was my motto... and I think I did a good job of seizing the day!

Let's hope I can continue. 

P.S. I have been thinking about my first year here and all the fun I had.  This picture symbolizes a time when things were better and I was in a better place with my mind... this is what I'm striving to reach again...