Today was the day that I made that ever so important decision to put my words from my last entry into action...
I started bright and early. Mr. Santoro's 8:15 class was canceled this morning and while everyone else was enjoying their free class period sleeping in I was on campus already. I decided that if I set my alarm for 5:30 and got up and stayed home that it would be no time before I was sound asleep again and I didn't want that to happen. I had things that needed to get done and I wasn't about to let that time that I was already used to being up for anyway just slip by. So I got up at 5:30 and was out the door but 6:00 with a packed lunch and a full cup of coffee.
When I got to campus I was one of a handful of students just arriving and I got a really good parking spot (always a plus on a long day!). I found the empty classroom where I would normally be sitting with my peers learning about the world of exceptionalities that will greet our every waking moment as teachers in the career field. I picked a spot by the window where the cool morning breeze would keep my mind awake and my senses alert and I pulled out my worn copy of Left Back: A Century of Battles Over School Reform by Diane Ravitch and began to carefully read and analyze the 12-page section that Dr. Green had assigned to us for the quiz we would be having in class. It was nothing overly interesting, mostly just how radical progressive educators had gotten after the Great Depression and how many extremeist ideas there were out there about the role schools should play in society... it's worth a look if you like that kind of stuff. I went through it once, nit picking and highlighting/underlining every important detail and then I went back and read straight through it one more time for fluidity and comprehension.
At that point I was really getting sleepy. I have been very sick since Monday afternoon when I came home from work with a temperature of 103 (not fun). Anyway, I decided I needed to move, so I made my way to the lobby where I watched my fellow students all around me. Some I knew, some I didn't; some conversations I recognized (senior thesis projects, a shake up in CAB and the very quiz I had just prepared for were among them) and some just failed to catch my attention. I sat there for probably 10-15minutes thinking over what I had just read to myself so I could keep it fresh in my mind. Then it was time for class so I made my way up to the 2nd floor of the classroom building and sat down in the front row of the stifling atmosphere of CL 206 and waited for the customary rhetoric of Dr. Green to announce his arrival.
"I think I may have actually gotten a 10 out of 10 on that one," I said to Chris as we headed down to the Excel department. "And you know what? I think I actually understood what he was talking about today, it didn't seem like a bunch of mumbo jumbo jibberish..." my voice trailed off as I saw the look on Chris's face (which meant that he did not feel the same way), so I decided to drop the subject for the more favorable one of what was on special at the food court today (it was buffalo chicken wraps). After I dropped my notes off at Excel I stopped by to see Betheny and missed her, and then we headed down to the food court. While I ate I tied up some loose ends with emails that I had out to some professors and some applications and the sort that I had unfinished floating around my desktop. After that I put pen to paper and made out a to-do list for the rest of the semester, and let me tell YOU it's a DOOZY! It hurts me to look at it, but at the same time it feels good to know exactly what has to be done.
Art class went smoothly, my group was understanding of my absences and Mrs. Dick cut me some slack on her grading policy, she thinks if I can continue my 'A' line of work from the beginning of the semester (before all hell broke loose) though to the end of the semester and do really well on my final that I can pull through with a 'B', but no higher than that... ugh, I wish there was something I could do about the classes I had to miss... anyway... her final will require a lot of time and effort, but to be completely honest I think I will have fun with it. Before I left campus for work I added her final and my responsibilities for our group project to my list of things to do.... looks like thing will be getting hairy this weekend.
Work went nicely, I hadn't seen the kids in awhile because I've been sick and Ariyanna was glad to have her Mancala partner back. Alexus is on crutches and Aaron lost a tooth... they are so great, I love it when I go to the after school program after being on campus so long on Thursdays because they're so lively and refreshing... they just make my day! The Howards were picked up right at 5:00 leaving Issa as the only one left. His mother showed up at 5:15 and Ms. Dorris and I were free to go. I-471 was shut down so I had to come home Columbia Parkway which was backed up all the way back to the city and it took me the better part of and hour to get home instead of the usual half hour. I ate dinner and then my medicine knocked me out so I slept until 9:30 and now here we are.
Why is any of this important enough to me to be in my blog at all? Well because just yesterday I didn't want to do anything, everyday "staples" were a big feat for me and everything I did, no matter how simple, required a great deal of effort. But I reached that breaking point and I decided to keep pushing through no matter how hard things got. So today "carpe diem" was my motto... and I think I did a good job of seizing the day!
Let's hope I can continue.
P.S. I have been thinking about my first year here and all the fun I had. This picture symbolizes a time when things were better and I was in a better place with my mind... this is what I'm striving to reach again...