I (as I am sure everyone else is!) am sooo looking forward to the end of next week, but there’s no getting there with out going through finals...

Three exams, a test, and a practical are what I have on tap for the next ten days…

Given some of the stories I’ve been hearing, that’s not too bad at all –

I’ve been making it a point to study as I go along so I am not too stressed out about the situation.

This semester I finally figured out how I learn best, and that has made all of the difference. I know every one is different, but I am definitely not a crammer. Everything I try to stuff in at the last minute just slides right out of my mind as soon as I am forced to regurgitate it…

On top of everything else the calendar is rife with inductions, luncheons, and a myriad of other end of the year activities. Another lesson I learned this term? Know when to say no, but saying yes sometimes is a good thing! Deprivation (read: taking no study breaks ever!) definitely doesn’t work for me either. Dr. Annette warned us last fall to schedule in down time and it has taken me this long to catch on. A more balanced approach has definitely made me more successful this time around.

Chem. classes at Xavier don’t start until the end of the month so I will be there bright & early every morning of every weekday for the entire summer. I’m thrilled…(truly!). I have a good feeling about our relationship and sense that a little one on one time might bring me and chemistry back together in a beautiful way. (Just in time for the fall chem. class!)

 

The best thing about finals week as far as I am concerned?  It makes the weekend that much sweeter!

Even with a couple of classes this summer, I am sure I will find time to squeeze in a new adventure or a visit a place that I’ve never been. I hope you get to do the same!

See you in August!

Have a Beautiful Summer!

 

Every week – when it gets closer to the time I usually sit down and try to download my week onto the page – I find myself struggling with what may or may not be relative to whoever stumbles across me this particular week.

Perhaps it is because the larger projects of the term have been completed and even with finals on the horizon there is actually a little bit if time in between the spaces I usually fill with planning the next great adventure for my 17 year old (college back east…yikes!) or unraveling the secrets of the universe with my eight year old; but I’ve had the privilege of actually reflecting on the small moments this week – something that had been slipping past me in recent days.

For instance – lately, there has been a jumble of vastly different people knocking on my door (both literally and metaphorically) – with “stuff”. Nothing too earth shattering - just stuff...

• An article in the Times this morning about “enlightenment therapy” – egads!
• A neighbor knocking last evening tearfully gripping a movie saying “I had to share this with you – you have to watch this”. Ohkaaay…I never have time to watch movies – but I did this weekend.
• A friend tearfully (again with the tears…) bringing me a book and saying, “you absolutely have to read this…it’s beautiful…” Ohkaaay…I never have time for extracurricular reading – but I did this week…
• And a very young man ringing for my daughter this morning for a run, who stood as though he was scared to death (or perhaps scarred?) seeming to hold his breath – hands jammed in pockets, shoulders in tense hunches, barely blinking. I did my cheery mom schtick – (you know the one- when you’re not really seeing, but just doing because well, that’s what you do…)“Good morning! How are you?! Coffee? Water? Excited for senior year?!” He looked at me like I had horns and finally (rather flatly) said “I’m just tryin’ to get through senior year ma’am” -  it suddenly occurred to me that perhaps his household may not be quite as sunny at 6:30 on a Sunday morning. Something about that made me sad.

Ok – maybe I’m starting to get it a little bit. It’s easy to get caught up in our own lives and blink through the seemingly small things that slide past or brush against us everyday – at least that’s true for me. My kids are always saying to me how different our home is from their friends’ – they don’t sit down for dinner together or as talk much – there isn’t always music in the house and open arms at the door….

I suppose I’d forgotten that. Maybe I’m a little out of touch, here in my bubble…

If you’ve ever struggled, or had a great sadness or disappointment – you may relate. There is such a gratitude for even the smallest joy – you tend to be a little protective of each and every little delight. Life is short and you know this – but it’s never too short to smile. Something happens and the sadness has become so distant, you almost forget it was ever there – at least I did. You’ve worked to keep it at bay and you like it that way- thankyouverymuch!

 I think maybe, I needed to be reminded that not everyone can relate to that just yet– and in my blasting through my own life – there is a gentler way to touch or relate to someone who may be in the midst of their own struggle. I really do remember those days- I suppose I‘d just allowed myself to forget that even tough times (past and present) are instruments for connecting us in deeper ways. Ok – I get it.

(The movie, btw, was Seven Pounds - it was pretty good, and the book was The Shack. I’ve already forgotten the author but it was a pretty hip little existential conversation with God – not at all what I expected but very good nonetheless).

No major happenings here, just the standard end-of-semester barrage of papers due and exams coming up. Summer classes, fall classes , and the commencement of a  year of research to look forward to  have already staked claims on the calendar after exams. For the first time since I returned to school however, there are no other commitments on my schedule – I feel positively footloose & fancy free! I suppose that’s not really true if you consider that my dh and lovely children but since when were they work? (tongue planted firmly in cheek here…). I know I’m not the only adult student juggling a myriad of responsibilities – all with their own hat- and will be the first to admit I don’t quite have it down to a science. If there’s anyone out there who has some tips or the key to squeezing a 25^th hour out of the day, I’d love to hear them!

Celebration of Teaching and Learning begins at 10 am tomorrow morning and as odd as this may sound, I’m actually looking forward to the lecture in the morning. The topic is a ”A Conversation about Leadership and Service”.  As a long time volunteer in my community, this is of particular interest to me  in that I would imagine shifting one’s perspective to successfully  include vocation and service would have some of the same challenges as someone (like me) seeking to continue to serve while meeting  academic and familial obligations. I am sure that at the very least I will walk away inspired.  

I started off this morning as I usually do on Sundays – reading the NY times cover to cover and picking apart the commentaries. This morning was a little different. [besides this insipid time change that found me sitting in front of a computer at 4:18 am (egads!)].

Frank Rich’s column entitled “Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner” provoked a response I could not keep to myself.  It may not be relevant to anyone but me, and may certainly more of a generational response – but I thought it was worth sharing.

So below you will find a link to the column, along with my commentary – also published in the Sunday Times. If you’ve not seen the movie – perhaps it can be your  “something new” to try this week.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/02/opinion/02rich.html?hp

“As one of those children (born just a bit earlier in 1966) - Senator Obama embodies everything we believed and we were told we could be one day as middle-class children of color (with hard work, and good grades!). Sure we'd have to be stronger, faster, tougher and willing to start below "the bottom”, all in the most non-threatening way possible. But

that was just the "way it was" and we were happy to go along with the program just to earn the right to dream the American dream.

The fact that there has been such confusion as to his toughness, blackness, or whether or not he or America is "ready" for this new chapter, has often left me wondering why we were ever regaled with tales of a new day coming for America for all of us, regardless of race. We buy every other story/tale about who we are as a people, (from the wild west to Thanksgiving); why could we not believe our own mythology this time around?

It would seem that perhaps we are turning a page in our collective American history - but it is hard not to hold my breath and have the audacity to hope that everything my parents told me (and raised me to believe) is true.

While the bogeyman of racism in America still like the recessive gene we can't seem breed out - perhaps we can finally trust each other enough to keep him in his place with the rest of the relics of hate and division; regardless of who is president.(?)

Maybe we really can finally find a way to love our country more than our race. There are a lot more of us "starry-eyed" kids (and our kids) of the Loving vs. Virginia legacy than anyone realizes; and if America is confused by Barack Obama – she may find herself truly confounded by her new generation(s).”

Word of the Day: Priorities

So Monday morning I woke up from a nightmare that I was somehow on the wrong campus looking for a non-existent science building that I should have been in twenty minutes earlier for a chemistry exam, racing around in a panic...

I can't remember the last time I had a dream like that. Obviously something was out of whack.

Needless to say, I had been a little stressed about this class. Doing all of the wrong things for my learning style - focusing on points instead of knowledge, cramming instead of just pacing - everything that sends me into a tailspin. I know better - right? Study better, study smarter, and above all don't freak out! It's the last part that got me. Not a big hysterical freaking out, but a quiet little in-my-own-head one.

Well, waking up to the reality of the "failed bailout" and people "losing it" en masse shortly after dragging myself downstairs and logging on snapped me back into shape pretty quickly. The cover of the Times was practically screaming about the nearly 800 point drop overnight and all of the resident Chicken Littles were in line proclaiming the falling sky in six languages. My bank is on the latest dumpster list along with a lot of other people's I'm sure.

Egads.

Suddenly, the "horrors of chemistry" seemed like a small thing to raise my blood pressure over. Happy home, good life, and the privilege of learning something new everyday. There are worse places to be - both literally and metaphorically. If the worst thing that happens today is that I get some things wrong, then it is good day.

Sometimes I really do learn more by getting it wrong than I do by getting it right; but that's just me. Fortunately that I can afford to make some mistakes right now - so I'll take it while I can and save a little happy for when things get really rough.

My priorities this week:

1. Try to get more things right than wrong.

                          BUT

2. Learn just as much from the wrong answers.

That should keep me calm for a little while...at least today.

It’s exactly 5:03 on a Sunday morning and the one day of the week I don’t have to get up this early…but I do anyway – if I want to sneak in a little down time for reflection and meditation without locking myself in my walk-in.
 
It’s hard to believe that classes at the Mount have only been in session for just under a month. There is a quality to the days that causes them to almost seamlessly meld into one save for a few intermittent spurts of sleep. Don’t get me wrong – I am neither overworked nor overwhelmed. After marriage, children and all the surprises those paths include, there is something serendipitous about landing in a place where I can actively pursue my own destiny; where plans are made to be met, roads built to be traveled; and limitations soundly dismissed.

It is fitting that I would be a non-traditional student in a traditional major (biology). It is indeed a metaphor for the very tenor of my life up to this point. There is very little that I find beyond belief or possibility, yet I am constantly awed and overwhelmed by the wonder and mysteries of this life – this universe even. Pragmatic yet intoxicated with the boundless possibilities ahead, I find it impossible not to be a bit thrilled.

Someone asked me last week about my motivations for returning to school – perhaps after everything thing else I’ve had the opportunity to do or perhaps even at this time in my life. Surprisingly, although going into my third term here, this is a question I’d not been asked by anyone other than my advisor (Note: I did expect to be more of an oddity than I apparently am!)  yet I’d answered it in my mind a dozen times. The truth is, there comes a point when the realization that the dreams we are given don’t cease to exist just because we put them away for time. Sitting on a shelf does not negate them or make them any less powerful. When that realization for me intersected with the opportunity to actually pursue those dreams – how could I not seize upon it?

Life, time – goes by alarmingly fast. The days melt into weeks, months, years. Just yesterday I performed doll surgery on top of my parents wet bar and forced my brother to sit still while I prepped him for a brain transplant on the terrace. Life swooped in early and sped in a direction seemingly miles away from that girlhood dream of pursuing medicine. I could not have imagined that there would come a time when I would be here, now; not simply pursuing a dream, but continuing a journey. Perhaps, the road was leading in this direction all along – giving me the grace of a little extra preparation and few more tools to make the trip; in which case, what choice did I have but to pack a bag and accept the challenge?

A thought to share this morning:

"Destiny is not a matter of chance; but a matter of choice. It is not a thing to be waited for; it is a thing to be achieved."
                                                                                                 - William Jennings Bryan